Don't Be That Hockey Parent
as seen in USA Hockey Magazine September 2014
http://touchpointmedia.uberflip.com/issue/370939/13
It
might sound crazy what I’m about to say …
We’ve
all met them before (and if you haven’t met them,
then we’re talking about you) – The Despicable Me Hockey Parent. They’re
the ones hurling insults during a heated game, chastising the ref’s, or playing
Scotty-Bowman-from-the-stands.
Before
you fall into this trap, why not consider the following, and make a run for The Respectable Me Parent?
Honor
Learn the value of restraint. It’s
something Jr. Coyotes of Az. goalie mom Sharon Enck, AKA Puck Gal, has. “Everyone will forgive you if you forget the
team snack, but may not be as quick to turn the other cheek if you spew obscenities
at a game.” Enck says it’s best to avoid being the parent everyone hates, for your
sake and your child’s.
As for the game’s sake, parent behavior
needs to change says Buffalo, NY HARBORCENTER Vice
president and Academy of Hockey Director Kevyn
Adams. “It seems that in sports today, the concept of
good sportsmanship is lost and parents should remember to behave in an honorable
way that we would want our kids to emulate in the future.”
Back stabbing the coach is a major parent
offense. “By undermining your child’s coach, you’re taking away the coach’s
credibility and giving your child a reason not to listen to them,” says Adams. “Should
your comments leak into the locker room, how awkward that would be?” asks Enck.
Think refs are fair
game for insults? USA hockey development program official Chris Costa asks that
you think about the impact name calling in the stands can have on calls made on
the ice, “For young, inexperienced
officials, it could affect the next call, distract them for potential goals or
violent plays. The aggression can also develop officials that are fearful to
make the right call,” says Costa.
Active but not Over Reactive
After years of playing, coaching and going to
rinks with his own son, Adams has yet to
come across a kid who likes losing. But a loss can be a win, with the right
spin. “Leave it on the ice,” says Adams. “Encourage
them to control the factors that they have control over, such as giving 100%
effort on the ice.” If you lighten up, Adams says your
kids will enjoy the game more and worry less about the outcome – something out
of their control.
There’s no post game analysis for Enck, “I
let my daughter talk, uninterrupted for five minutes after a game. Once the
five minutes are up, we’re done.”
Passion
Keep
the passion positive and let other mamas have the drama. “Talking smack about
other kids and parents is bad form. And it’s a small world, so remember that if
your kid stays in the sport long enough you will see them again,” says Enck.
Patience
Perhaps there’s nothing more discouraging to a
child than post game antics by parents. “In
those cases where you do become upset, remove yourself from the environment so
your child doesn’t see your negativity,” says Adams.
Youth Sports
Sports can bring out the best in us. It can
also bring out the worst. Leave “despicable me” at home. Be that Honorable, Active, Passionate, Patient with our Youth parent – you’ll soon learn you don’t to be wearing Pharrell’s
oversized hat to be Happy.
Syracuse hockey mom
Christie Casciano Burns is the author of The
Puck Hog and Haunted Hockey in Lake Placid.
